14 posts tagged “ttc two week wait”

The period appeared. I am so stunned. No other words to describe how I feel right now.

There were absolutely no signs of AF. No PMS. It's not like I was spotting for a couple of days, cramping, no this or that, it just came...

Way earlier than the previous IVFs too ... 13DPO

I'm more stunned because I had no symptoms until this morning.

This afternoon, I noticed bright red spotting, which was not a good sign. Then I was like, "hhmmm, could this be cramps?" then BOOM. The period showed its nasty head.

When I had minor spotting this afternoon, I told my husband about it. He was upset and sad. This is the first he kind of showed any emotions. I could never tell if he was affected by the outcome.

I am going to call Dr in the morning - probably have the blood test done, rather than the schedule beta (Monday, 3/16). 

My mind is so blurred.

9DP4DT (9 day post day-4 transfer) 9DPT (9 day post transfer) 13DPR / 13DPO (13 day post retrieval)

Still I have absolutely no symptoms. I mean NADA. I google and find comments like "no symptoms except for xxxxxx" a lot. OK, that's still a symptom. For me, there is nothing. I mean I'm taking the progesterone shots and suppository. Isn't there anything from that?? Nope, not me.

• Frequent urination - No
• Cramping - No
• Sharp pain in ovary - No
• Headache - No
• Hot flashes - No
• Spotting - No
• CM - No (very dry!)
• Bloating - No
• Weight gain - No
• Sore breasts - No
• Sore butts!? - No

I mean nothing... This is rather weird.

One thing I want an answer is the relationship with Lupron Depot (this is different from the daily subcutaneous injection). I haven't had my period since last November. Lupron Depot shuts down everything (to menopausal stage). Yeah, the side effects I endured were just lovely. Hot flashes, dryness downstairs (seriously), etc.

So is that why I'm not having any discharge or spotting??? I mean it'd be wonderful if this is because I'm pregnant. But I don't know. 

Am I supposed to be afraid of the period to come like the last time or the period won't come on schedule because of Lupron Depot? (OK, I'm thinking of this in case this cycle was a bust...)

Well, I know I ovulated thanks to all those stims. Around that time, I had pre-O symptoms like cervical mucus and all that. So Lupron Depot situation is irrelevant now? FYI - my last injection was on January 6. I can't find any answers to that.

Ah well. I might as well enjoy nothingness while it lasts.

7DP4DT (7 day post day-4 transfer) 7DPT (7 day post transfer) 11DPR / 11DPO (11 day post retrieval)

After recovering from the terrible stomach flu, I enjoy having absolutely no symptoms. I don't even have sore butts from the daily progesterone shot. Learning from the previous 2 IVFs that symptoms during 2ww mean NOTHING, helps go through yet another cycle.

I wasn't sure if I'd be overanalytical. The previous 2 cycles, OH yes. But having completely 2 different symptoms, I've decided not to read into anything, and so far I managed to do that.

Y'know, IVF is something that can make you "a little" pregnant. I don't know how my precious embryos are doing right now. I'm hoping they've decided to stay in my uterus. Since the retrieval, I'm a little pregnant. This is the closest I came in pregnancy. I know that's sad, but true.

My husband asked if I wanted to test before the beta on Monday. He's never said that. I don't know. Maybe... maybe not... Last cycle, it did not prepare me for the news at all. I was very depressed when a nurse called me, and I was sad for a very long time. I thought getting negative from HPT would ease the pain if the bad news came. Nope, it didn't. I was upset when I saw that NOT PREGNANT sooner that I could've been.

So I don't know. We'll see how I feel this weekend.

I'm just praying that they stuck. I'm praying that the stomach flu didn't ruin them. I'm just... praying...

1DP4DT (1 day post day-4 transfer) 1DPT (1 day post transfer) 5DPR / 5DPO (5 day post retrieval)

The transfer went well. 2 precious embryos were alive and well. They came back to where they belong!

Doc said the embryos looked very good, much better than the last IVF. So hopefully it will work this time.

I changed the progesterone suppository though. I just couldn't like Crinone and switched to Endometrin. The nurse said they are the same. I know suppositories are never fun, but inserting the tablet seemed less gross than a goo. I slept for 15 hours today. I try not to overanalyze everything this time if that's possible.

12DP4DT (12 day post 4-day transfer) 12DPT (12 day post transfer) 16DPR (16 day post retrieval)

So it's over.

I was really hoping that this infertility blog will graduate into a pregnancy blog then a child rearing blog. I guess that was a wishful thinking. I never thought that was too much to ask.

The only way for me to get pregnant is via IVF. My fallopian tubes are severely damaged due to Stage IV endometriosis. It's pretty much the same as not having the tubes. IVFs are not covered by insurance in New York State. IUI - yes. Since my tubes are not functioning, it's no point in doing IUI.

We've done 2 IVFs which stretched our financial limit. Even if we had means to do another, when will it end? Ideally I just get pregnant right away, so no more worries. I know the reality is harder than that. I've heard of a woman doing 8 IVFs of which 4 were miscarried. To me, that's unfathomable. I totally understand her sentiment, wanting your child desperately. Maybe your body is not compatible with pregnancy. It's not fair, but there it is. I keep asking myself. Why not? Why not me? Or why not anyone who wants to have a baby? I think I can do pretty good job at raising a child. I'm sure I can. My heart cannot sink further. 

One thing I learned from this experience is that symptoms during IVF waiting periods are so irrelevant!! Although both IVFs failed sadly, I had completely different symptoms. That's why I became more hopeful the second time around.

IVF #1=Negative BFN
Lots of pains in ovaries*
Lower back pain*
Sore buttocks
Increased discharge
Cramps
Pink discharge (13 -15DPO)
Sore breasts
Full (more like swollen) breasts
Bloating
Nausea
Increased appetite
Frequent urination
Period came on 16DPO

*=most likely caused by endo symptoms. Dr thought maybe endo was stimulated too much by meds.

IVF #2=Negative BFN
Frequent urination
Brown discharge (11DPO, 14DPO, 15DPO)
Headache (12DPO-15DPO)
Period came on 17DPO

Overall I felt much better in IVF#2. Since the results were both negative, it doesn't really matter if I felt better this cycle or not.

I thought I wanted to share this info for those IVFers agonizing over the various symptoms they go through.

Dr. wants to see me for consultation. That's on October 29. I don't know... my mind is so blank right now.

9DP4DT (9 day post 4-day transfer) 9DPT (9 day post transfer) 13DPR (13 day post retrieval)

I'm not supposed to be drinking alcohol while waiting (two week wait) for HCG test. Did I tell you I love to drink? I'm not an alcoholic or anything, I just love to drink. I can drink about 4 -5 drinks every night. Since egg transfer, of course I refrained from that. When I want to have a drink, my excuse would be like "well a lot of women who don't know that they are pregnant drink, then find out later they are pregnant!" My husband's counter-attack, "they don't spend thousands of dollars to get pregnant either!". Point taken. ;-)

So I've been good except for a few beers (probably total of 3) in the past 10 days. My husband made me eat a lot of food before having "the" glass. It's hard. There are so many nice bars in New York, all within the walking distance. "Don't tempt me!!!"  I scream in my head.

The brown spotting only lasted for a day (on Friday - 7DPT/11DPO), so did cramping. I was still depressed and slept in most of the day today.

Today, I felt a gush coming out, ran to the bathroom, and saw reddish watery discharge. Just a little but enough to make you scream again. Other than that, nothing. I'm just praying and praying and praying. What else can I do?

7DP4DT (7 day post 4-day transfer) 7DPT (7 day post transfer) 11DPR (11 day post retrieval)

Writing my IVF journey here has been truly therapeutic. If I didn't have this blog to share with those in similar situations, I probably would have gone insane! I'm not kidding.

I haven't shared my IVF "ordeals" with anyone in real life. Although I'm 38, none of my friends (they are all my age!) are married. It's New York thing, I guess... They think they can have babies when they want it. It's so silly. That's sooo not true, but I used to think like that too until I realized that I didn't have any control over my reproductive organs!!

Today is 7 days post transfer. Gosh, it's been so long and I have another 5 days until the blood test. Tomorrow, I will have my first pregnancy test. Uuugh, I'm about to chicken out again. During IVF #1, the spotting started 6 days post transfer, and the period started 12 days post. So if my "nothing-ness" continues until DPT9, I think that's a good sign.

I must say I'm 100% more positive than IVF#1. During the last cycle, I already knew it failed... days before beta. It was a gut feeling. I tried to convince myself that I could be wrong. Well, I wasn't - I hate to be right all the time!! Haha.

This time, I don't feel that. I'm feeling pretty good about my odds for a + result. My husband said "if you want a positive result, you have to stay positive." It's easier said than done, my man!

I bought EPT digital pregnancy test, so I won't see those "faint" lines people are talking about. I've never seen one myself. It's always been a clear one line. Ugh.

So tomorrow, I will see either PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT - no gray area like a faint line. Eeeewwww, I'm super scared.

5DP4DT (5 day post 4-day transfer) 5DPT (5 day post transfer) 9DPR (9 day post retrieval)

I've been taking PIO (progesterone in oil) shot in the morning, and Endometrin suppository tablet at night since the egg retrieval (9/29). I have absolutely no side effects from these medications. If I wasn't told of the IVF cycle (well, which is quite impossible!), I would never know that my body is trying to get pregnant. I prefer not to have same symptoms from the last cycle (failed IVF), and it is better not to feel bloated, breast tenderness, cramps, headaches, blah blah blah.

But this is too much. I feel absolutely nothing. I mean, nothing!! 

I know I can't win. If I have symptoms, I worry. If I don't, I worry. Now my ultimate worries are kicking in. Are those embryos sticking? Are they all alive? What if it doesn't work?

My husband and I both know that this is our last chance, other than "real" miracle. I bought a pregnancy test the other day. First I will test it on Friday Saturday, and then on Monday. I was thinking of testing it on Friday initially, but I chickened out! Maybe it IS too soon. Let my body work a bit.

I thought I'd handle this wait better this time, I guess not!

3DP4DT (3 day post 4-day transfer) 3DPT (3 day post transfer) 7DPR (7 day post retrieval)

If you've failed any number of IVF cycles before, you wouldn't want to see any similar symptoms from the previous cycles either. At least that's how I feel.

Tonight, I had the yellowish greenish discharge again like last IVF. My heart immediately sank. In the previous incident, I called the doctor's office and was told not to worry. He didn't elaborate anything on that. I wish he did. I kept googling but nothing really came up, other than some other people experiencing the same thing. As long as the doctor says not to worry, it should be OK, right? I finally found out on some websites (yeah believe everything on the Internet!!) that the progesterone suppositories cause such. So really, nothing to worry. But when that cycle has failed, I really didn't want to see that again. It's like a sign for failure. I'm painfully aware it's been only 4 days since transfer, but it still hurts.

Today at the office, I said to my co-worker, "I feel like McDonald's." I NEVER feel like McDonald's. She asks, "Are you pregnant?" She is also aware that I never crave for McDonald's. I was like, "Heck, no." In truth, I'm hoping that those little embryos are starting to nest in my womb, but that's far from even possibly pregnant. Plus, I've never shared my issues with anyone, especially co-workers!

Do people crave McDonald's when they are pregnant?! That sounds awfully unhealthy. I guess people crave "unusual" things while expecting. In my case, it is possible that I may crave for McDonald's since I'd never eat it. I wonder what I'd crave if I ever become pregnant.

****

Progesterone shots since 9/30 am

Endometrin 100mg since 9/29 pm

Medrol 8mg every 12 hrs from 9/29 pm to 10/3 am

Doxycycline 100 mg every 12 hrs from 9/28 pm to 10/2 am

Novarel HCG Shot 9/27 pm 

Gonal-F 225IU from 9/16 pm to 9/27 am

Menopur 3 vials from 9/16 pm to 9/26 pm

Lupron 5 units from 9/16 pm 9/26 pm (10 units from 9/2 to 9/15 pm)

2DP4DT (2 day post 4-day transfer) 2DPT (2 day post transfer) 6DPR (6 day post retrieval)

I know, I know, I'm not supposed to do HPT until the beta test at the clinic. Of course I wouldn't do it today or anything. That's just silly. But I'm beginning to think when I can start testing on a pee stick. The reason is, to prepare myself. Last time, as disappointing as it was, it DID help me to prepare. As hopeful, and positive as I've been this time around, either way, I cannot have the news blasted at me. I know, I know, I sound like I'm just trying to justifying myself about "forbidden" HPT.

Anyway, I may test once this weekend like Friday, then again on Monday or something. That sounds reasonable enough.

5 embryos have been transferred. Honestly, I don't think all will implant. Last time 4 embryos were transferred and none implanted. I don't think they even stuck for one day, since my period came right on time despite the daily progesterone shots.

All we want is 1 or 2. My husband just wants 1. Not that having cute twins is tempting, he is worried about my health and fetal development. Well, he has a point. Anyway, God should know we are not being greedy. We just want to be blessed with one baby. Also having 5 embryos being transferred, there are risks of multiples. Gosh, that would be hard. I did agree to the Dr that I will reduce if that happens. I will deal with it when that happens, I guess. For now, I'm praying at least 1 embryo will stick to my uterus. That's all I want.
 
As for dealing with this tough two-week wait (technically it was 12 day wait, now 9-day wait!), me as ever-obsessive IVFer, I'm staring at the homemade chart. I know it's nuts. Every symptom from IVF#1 was recorded so I have something to compare this time such as when did I start to have bloody discharge, cramps or any kind of pains, etc. If the same shit doesn't have this cycle, I'm hoping I have better signs of good news (BFP)!

****

Progesterone shots since 9/30 am

Endometrin 100mg since 9/29 pm

Medrol 8mg every 12 hrs from 9/29 pm to 10/3 am

Doxycycline 100 mg every 12 hrs from 9/28 pm to 10/2 am

Novarel HCG Shot 9/27 pm 

Gonal-F 225IU from 9/16 pm to 9/27 am

Menopur 3 vials from 9/16 pm to 9/26 pm

Lupron 5 units from 9/16 pm 9/26 pm (10 units from 9/2 to 9/15 pm)