3 posts tagged “bfn”

The period appeared. I am so stunned. No other words to describe how I feel right now.

There were absolutely no signs of AF. No PMS. It's not like I was spotting for a couple of days, cramping, no this or that, it just came...

Way earlier than the previous IVFs too ... 13DPO

I'm more stunned because I had no symptoms until this morning.

This afternoon, I noticed bright red spotting, which was not a good sign. Then I was like, "hhmmm, could this be cramps?" then BOOM. The period showed its nasty head.

When I had minor spotting this afternoon, I told my husband about it. He was upset and sad. This is the first he kind of showed any emotions. I could never tell if he was affected by the outcome.

I am going to call Dr in the morning - probably have the blood test done, rather than the schedule beta (Monday, 3/16). 

My mind is so blurred.

11DP4DT (11 day post 4-day transfer) 11DPT (11 day post transfer) 15DPR (15 day post retrieval)

Today I'm just waiting for the period to come. If all the dates are the same as IVF #1, it won't come until tomorrow.

The brown discharge came back yesterday afternoon. It's been very, very small but pretty consistent since then and the color got darker I think. This is one of the typical premenstrual symptoms for me. Also l've been getting light cramps on and off. My husband gave me a big hug last night, said "this is not the end of the world". I replied, "but it is the end of our baby dream". He just nodded.

As hopeless as I am, I find myself still clinging to that glimmer of hope. Maybe I'm one of those miracle stories that tomorrow's test will give me a good news. I think I was like that too in the last IVF cycle until getting the period on 16dpo. Last time, my beta was scheduled on 17dpo somehow. Everything was the same. 4-day transfer and all. I wonder why... This time, the test will be on 16dpo. So if everything will be as IVF #1 was, I won't have my period until I come home from the clinic tomorrow. I don't know which would be better, to have the period the day before or the day of beta. It'd be best if it doesn't come at all! 

Either way, this torturous wait will be over tomorrow...

10DP4DT (10 day post 4-day transfer) 10DPT (10 day post transfer) 14DPR (14 day post retrieval)

My second home pregnancy test taken at 14 DPO (or DPR) was big fat Negative BFN. It cruelly indicated "Not Pregnant" yet again. I'm just stunned. I'm not as upset as I was on Saturday. I'm just speechless, nauseous, and disgusted.

I know there are still two more days until beta. The light discharge I was having seems to be gone, but it could come back. In the last IVF, I had pink discharge for three days before getting a period (16DPO). And that was the day before beta test. I didn't even get to have my blood drawn with a suspicion of pregnancy!

So this is it? It's not going to happen? Without IVF, there is no chance that I can have my own child.

I've been having a pretty bad headache for the past few days too. I held off on taking any Tyrenol but I gave in last night. It didn't help much. I think it's the stress. I mean I googled out, clinging to my slightest hopes that it could still happen.

I feel the period is imminent. My blood test is on Wednesday (16DPO/12DPT). At this point, I just want to get it over with.