Tomorrow

Tomorrow is long awaited 14 DPT (14 days post transfer/Day 33).

I feel like singing "Tomorow" - tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow...  Will I love tomorrow? Will it give me a great birthday present I wanted so long?

I took the last HPT this morning. The test result was big fat negative. Couldn't get any more negative than that - one dark line - I used First Response. And I have bloody discharge again. I kind of have cramps too. This time it's more like the cramps, not the weird sharp pains. Maybe I am getting my period? This is such a vicious circle!

Well, this emotional roller coaster  will end tomorrow and possibly my journey to have a baby will end too.
I'm trying not to get depressed.

It's hard not to be pessimistic when the odds are all against you. I can't help feeling bad for my husband either, who wants a baby more than me actually. The problems are all on me. He is very healthy. He says I'm silly to feel that way but it's hard not to.

Taking three negative pregnancy tests didn't help being positive either. Probably I should have just waited for the blood test. Ah well, what's done is done.

It's raining hard in New York today. It's supposed to rain all day. The big storm that hit the Dallas area is hitting our region today, they said.

My husband OK'd me to have one drink today. I guess he figured I needed a little picker-upper!